Lesley says I can’t mention who these folks are and I have to leave out some of the language in this true story. I can only say that I was not involved nor was Lesley.
Once upon a time there was a retired couple. Every year the husband would play some sort of April Fool joke, one of those kind that men think are so funny.
April Fools’ Day comes around this year and the wife is upstairs watching TV when the phone rings. Well, she sees her loving husband’s cell phone number on the screen, so she knows he’s calling and she also knows he doesn’t know she does.
The wife answers the phone and hears a male voice trying to imitate a female one. The voice says, “This is Cindy, call I speak to…. (we’ll not mention his name here.) In a moment of unusual inspiration, the wife yells downstairs, “Husband, you (expletive deleted)”, she says, but not softly, “you lost your cell phone again and some woman has found it.”
I thought this was really mean on the anonymous wife’s part.
Try this recipe. It might cheer you up.
Low Carb Creole Beef Grillades
3 lbs cube steaks
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1/3 cup bacon fat or lard
2 cups chopped onions
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup chopped green bell peppers
1 pound button mushrooms, brushed cleaned and quartered
1 tablespoon minced garlic
3/4 cup dry red wine or 1/4 cup white wine vinegar mixed with 1/2 cup water
2 cups veal or chicken stock (low sodium)
1 28-oz can Rotel tomatoes
3 bay leaves
1 tablespoon chopped fresh or 1-1/2 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
1 teaspoon salt (use less if using salty stock)
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon white pepper
1 teaspoon chopped fresh or 3/4 teaspoon dried oregano leaves
1/4 cup chopped fresh or 2 tablespoons dried basil leaves
Season the meat with salt and pepper
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Heat a large cast iron pan or a 3 quart braising pan over medium-high heat. Once the pan is hot add bacon fat or lard in the pan and brown the seasoned beef, working in batches. Do not overcrowd the pan with the meat. Cook the beef for about 3 minutes on each side, or until brown. As the beef is browned, transfer to a large plate and set aside until you have cooked all of the beef. Add the onions, celery, peppers and mushrooms. Cook the vegetables, stirring often, until softened, about 8 to 10 minutes. Add the garlic to the pan and cook for 1 minute. Pour the red wine or wine vinegar water mixture to the pan and scrape the bottom of the pot with a wooden spoon to remove any browned bits that may have formed on the bottom.
Add the veal stock, tomatoes, bay leaves, thyme, salt, cayenne, white, and black peppers to the pan and bring to a boil. Return the beef to the pan and reduce the heat to a simmer. Place a lid on the pan and place in the oven. Allow the beef to cook, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking, for 2 hours, or until the beef is fork tender. When the beef is tender, remove the pan from the oven and stir the oregano and basil into the pot. Taste and adjust seasoning if necessary.
This is traditionally accompanied by grits, but not with this low carb recipe.