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I've been sitting here for a bit trying to figure out exactly how to word this post, starting it and then erasing it. I find myself questioning how people will see me after they read it and while I find that I am comfortable worried about being accepted I am not comfortable with the fear of it. Hmmm, if that makes any sense. So, I am just going to begin......
This past Summer I found myself in the darkest of dark spots. It was as if all of the dark/bad/angry/painful experiences in my life had gathered into a quicksand that threatened to swallow me. There were days that I had to hang on to the slightest sliver of shining goodness just to get by and then there were the days that I felt like there was no use in even trying and I found myself turning away from those bits of goodness.
These darkest days were the most frightening things for both Tom and I and my goals became to survive that day, that hour, that minute. Tom built this coccoon around me that protected me from painful situations/people and the healing process began. I was open about what was happening with those closest to me and they offered even more of their unconditional love and support. I began seeing a wonderful counselor and I began the journey of finding me, of loving me, of accepting me.
The journey has been one of steps, even leaps, forward and of steps and hops backward. I have danced sideways around issues that have been very painful only to find that I keep getting put back in those situations. I continue to be supported and loved by many and I can honestly say that my days have their fill of laughter and smiles.
It's not easy working on things that have been buried a long time. Dredging up old "stuff" is sometimes a dirty and disgusting job but I'm doing it. I want to stay in the light of the good stuff and not get bogged back down in that dark and unforgiving quicksand. I see so many stories every day about what havoc depression has reeked upon its victims and I think to myself "there but for the grace of God go I".
With the end of the year fast approaching I found myself looking back in retrospect. Did I accomplish what I wanted to? Did I love those near and dear to me as I should have? Am I having the same struggles now as I did a year ago?
If you allow yourself to look at things from the "the cup's half empty" viewpoint a year end review can be a difficult and, sometimes, painful experience. Believe me I know as I have myself taken on the burdens of past disappointments and regrets. In fact, I have allowed myself to wear these burdens like so many necklaces weighing down my neck and shoulders....NOT good (as Tom's mother used to say).
This year has brought some pretty low lows but it has gifted me with amazing highs and that's what I want to focus on. I want to see the gift of acceptance that was handed to me by those that love me, those that will never, ever know how very grateful I am to have them in my life.
I want to look forward with my eyes wide open, I want to create with abandon, I want to believe that everything is in its right place, I want to love wholeheartedly, I want to forgive and be forgiven, I want to sit down and tell those responsible how grateful I am that they saved me (literally) and I want to start 2012 out with the words, "Once Upon a Time....".
And now I want to wish each and everyone of you unlimited blessings for the New Year.
To finish out the year I have decided to do a pre-registration for my Bezels of Beauty Class which will go live on my NING group on February 29th (yep that's right there's a leap year heading our way).
Pre-registration for this class will begin today and will end on Saturday, December 31st and if you sign up now the class will cost you $45.00 which is $10.00 less than it will be offered for beginning on May 1st. So the benefits of pre-registering are:
1. You save $10.00.
2. You are placed in the class group within 24 hours of paying so you have early access to the supply list and you get to meet other enrollees.
3. The Class won't be offered for regular registration until May 1st so all pre-registrants have the class/videos, etc. to themselves until that time.
Here are just a few of the things we will be working with and learning in this online course.....
1. Working with Apoxie Clay
2. Mold Making With Found Objects
3. Creating Bezels
4. Working With Resin
5. Creating Unusual Elements For Your Mixed Media Necklaces
As always, all classes are ongoing and have no end date. What does this mean for you? Wellll, it means you don't have to rush to finish the class, you don't have a deadline for completion and you can have fun and relax and enjoy the creative process.
I hope you will join us for this exciting class at this amazing price. <smile>
Come they told me Pa rum pum pum pum A new born King to see, Pa rum pum pum pum Our finest gifts we bring Pa rum pum pum pum To lay before the King Pa rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum So to honor Him Pa rum pum pum pum, When we come.
Little Baby Pa rum pum pum pum I am a poor boy too, Pa rum pum pum pum I have no gift to bring Pa rum pum pum pum That's fit to give our King Pa rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum Shall I play for you! Pa rum pum pum On my drum.
Mary nodded Pa rum pum pum pum The ox and lamb kept time Pa rum pum pum pum I played my drum for Him Pa rum pum pum I played my best for Him Pa rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum Then He smiled at me Pa rum pum pum pum Me and my drum.
Blessings to you and your families now and throughout the New Year.
Wow the last couple of weeks has seen some pretty major lows (with my Mom) and some pretty amazing highs too. I've had to keep mum on a few things but now I can tell you all about one of the them.....
I've been chosen to be a part of the USArtquest Design Team!! I am sooooo excited about this opportunity and am really stoked to try more of their amazing products and then share everything I've learned here with you. Yay!!! Two of my all time favorite things to do...teach and share! <smile>
If you will remember USArtquest is my all time favorite supplier of mica....you know the magical stuff that I hoarde so I always have it on hand. :) It's a must have fo so many things and once you use it you will love it too. .
If you aren't familiar with USArtquest you can find them by clicking on this button:
They have an array of items for the mixed media artist including some of the most yummy decorative art papers for you to use in your creations. I can't wait to get my hands on a few of those. YUMMO!
Please be on the lookout for posts here with tutorials, product information and more.
The last 10-12 days has been a bit of a roller coaster for my family. I came down with a bit of ick that put me out of work for almost 5 days per doctor's orders. It was the afternoon of the doctor's visit that we received a call that my mom had suffered a stroke.
The adrenaline rush that this news created held only one decision for me...leave that night or the next morning for Louisiana. I could think of nothing else besides just getting to her and to where I could be more involved in what was happening and lift some of that burden from my sister's shoulders.
Luckily my sister and Tom both were able to calm me down enough to start thinking a bit more clearly. By the next morning I knew that with my illness I just needed to get as much rest as possible until we knew something more. That way I could be prepared for the long trip and over the contagious portion of my "ick".
After many tests, scans (which showed she had suffered a small stroke a couple of month ago), evaluations and nights in the hospital Mom was released and is at home now. She has a couple of new prescriptions, is on orders not to drive and is not real happy to have lost some of her independence. With all said and done we think she was extremely lucky and we feel very blessed.
Although this time kicked up a few of the fears I had been working on and caused a bit of a backslide it also showed me that the backslide was stoppable and that I could find my way past it. I am very fortunate to have friends that love me for who I am, backsliding or not. After all we all have our own opportunity to not be at our best.
I'm trusting that those that love me really love me and nothing will change that.
Thank you so much for being here for me....I am very grateful for you all!
I know many of us do much more creating during the holidays.....whether it is in the kitchen, around the tree or for gifts.
This morning I stumbled upon, quite literally, a site called "Stylelist Home" and found a section called "Craft of The Day" and there are some really fun looking projects for the holidays. Like how to make a beautiful ornament wreath....
A Cabinet Door Chalkboard For Your Studio
A Different Kind of Advent Calendar
So head on over to Stylelist Home by clicking below, search for "Craft Of The Day" and get inspired.